little kingdoms in your chest

NEW LIVEJOURNAL ACCT. FOLLOW MEEEE

2008-10-27T02:07:22Z

so its made, i added everyone on my friends list, add me back!! muahhh
never_cominback never_cominback never_cominback

bigcastles @ 2008-10-26T18:25:00

2008-10-27T01:27:13Z

i hate this lj. i never update and when i want to, i feel like its not worth it, since nothing will make sense. i'm making a new one, and i'm adding all of you to it, i hope you except.

once its made i'll also post my new lj sn.

bigcastles @ 2008-10-20T18:46:00

2008-10-21T01:46:46Z

You preferred McCain's statements 67% of the time
You preferred Obama's statements 33% of the time

Voting purely on the issues you should vote McCain

Who would you vote for if you voted on the issues?

Find out now!

that was interesting.

bigcastles @ 2008-10-09T14:16:00

2008-10-09T21:18:48Z

i'm realizing that i've met so many amazing people through out my life. people i wish i had taken the chance and time to get to know better. i find myself holding back when it comes to spending time with a lot of people. there are a few exceptions of course, but overall, i haven't had too many great friends... just a lot of wonderful aquaintances and then the given few amazing best friends. its a shame. i want to be more open.

bigcastles @ 2008-10-03T12:28:00

2008-10-03T19:29:05Z

took my mom to the ER this morning because her heart was racing and her arm was losing feeling. so scared. she's okay. just sleeping. i'm worried. i don't want my parents to get old.

bigcastles @ 2008-09-30T23:00:00

2008-10-01T06:00:48Z

i think im going to quit smoking. starting tomorrow, since i just decided right now. lets see how that goes.

bigcastles @ 2008-09-20T08:48:00

2008-09-20T15:50:00Z

victor kept calling me from todd's phone last night. i guess todd and him got super drunk together and had a bonding moment or something. victor was taking him home and needed his address? im really fucking freaked out.

bigcastles @ 2008-09-18T17:34:00

2008-09-19T00:34:53Z

go to jamie for a haircut! at elfi's hair salon!

please dont go.

2008-08-16T19:23:09Z

i'm really in shambles right now. my heart is completely torn in half. i feel crazy.

indecision wont you ever make up your lifetime?

2008-08-07T04:28:09Z

a long time ago i wrote something about how the format makes me sad. still true. i'm dumb and listening to phil collins, just... i dont know what i'm doing actually. feeling sorry for myself? i dont think so... i mean, maybe... but i'm not really thinking about me. i wish my dad hadn't called when he did, my moms still on the phone with him, and i really would like to keep talking to her. i'm not really that okay. i'm not always as mature as i tell myself i am. i'm sitting outside smoking a cigarette and its kind of cold. yay monsoons. im dumb.

hey, i'm doing all right.

2008-08-03T23:19:01Z

also, i havent cut my hair since february and its probably doubled in length since then. well i'm sort of lying because, in april i just got the back cut some because i was growing a mullet... and it was not cute. anyway, with a lot of bobby pins i can put it in a puny pony-tail. i wish it would grow faster. i'm anxious.

edit: so i exaggerated the amount its grown. the first picture is from feb sometime and the other one is from today. excuse how retarded i look in both of them. :]

a heart is no place to be singing from at all

2008-08-03T23:15:27Z

today i made cookies and im going to see the dark knight again tonight with my parents. i feel weird today, i'm not really so sure why, or if its bad or not. just different. i feel like i need something big to happen. i have all these plans that i just want to follow through with. also, i've been listening to jack johnson's new cd a lot lately. i can't figure out if its making me sad or not. todd's job makes me sad, thats for sure. for the next two weeks he's going to be working every single night. he needs the money though. i wish i could figure out how to make things easier on us. and how to litter train our new ferret. her poops are disgusting. and i love calvin so incredibly much. i didn't know it was possible for a cat to be so wonderful. i love when i wake up and he's got his little chin on my pillow, like, gazing at my face. its so adorable.

continuing with the light notes, I LOVE MY JOB. its so fulfilling. i feel so good about it every day. it doesnt feel like work and i love that i'm learning every single day. i can't wait to go to pima and start classes for this. i keep thinking about los angeles and i really want to move there. i hope we get the opportunity to do so soonish. i want to be young when i live there. that place is always in my dreams. todd has my speakers and my music sounds awful right now.

i love spending time with kandace. we're brilliant, honestly. applebee's yesterday was wonderful. we discussed cloning, and stupid people we know.

my birthday is in 15 days. i'm getting a new laptop from my parents, which i'm stoked about, this one is really shitty lately. my i key sticks and i have to press it a bunch of times before it works, this entry is taking me a long time to write because of it haha. i have no idea what i'm going to do for my birthday, if i end up doing anything. kandace says she wants to do something for me, i hope something ends up happening. i'm really lazy though hahah.

i'm just griping really. i love 98% of my life. i just wish i could make a few things less complicated.

kandace and i are going to be spontaneous and go to sarah's party in tucson next weekend. i'm extremely excited... is that okay?

i would tell you that you looked good as i walked away.

2008-07-26T05:45:31Z

thanks for everyone who offered to take calvin, but todd and i talked and he's staying. thank goodness. i love that little monster. i woke up to him using my cheek as a pillow.

i'm boring.

bigcastles @ 2008-07-17T06:23:00

2008-07-17T13:24:02Z

wish it was easy to be rude right back.

i'm the one who loves you best.

2008-07-17T04:23:35Z

everyone's so selfish.

next week i start working full-time as a veterinary technician at my job. finally. not just two days a week. ALL WEEK. no more receptionist bullshit!!! i'm so happy!

my stomach's been really crappy again lately. i know my diet's not really that great, but my doctor and i are pretty sure that my chronic gastritis has caused an ulcer. she prescribed some new pills and if i don't notice any improvement in a month, she wants me to get another endoscopy to see if there are more blisters on my stomach, or to see if there really is an ulcer. i'm really so stressed out. and i keep getting mad or upset so easily. i wish i could find some sort of healthy outlet.

no one ever asks me how i'm doing. lately it's just about everyone else.

bigcastles @ 2008-05-24T06:56:00

2008-05-24T13:58:31Z

i feel like im constantly holding my breath.

bigcastles @ 2008-05-19T23:13:00

2008-05-20T06:14:07Z

who doesn't?

AND IF I DIDNT HAVE YOU AS MY GUIDE...

2008-05-13T02:16:53Z

i just finished reading my last livejournal i had. i can't help but laugh.
today victor said he'd rather not give me the animals, that he's gotten so attached and i can't blame him. coming to terms. sigh.
my parents are watching august rush, the music is amazing. i'm a loser and i think i'll download the soundtrack. yep.
ive started writing in my written journal again. it feels good.
i miss todd.

bigcastles @ 2008-05-02T19:03:00

2008-05-03T02:04:57Z

"if we knew each other's secrets, what comforts we should find." -collins.

this is the story with the fantastic lies.

2008-04-30T05:15:09Z

i'm selfish.

my kidney only hurts at night.

this week i need to do a shit load of math, study sociology, and write my literary research paper on a doll's house.

just need some thing that hugs back right now.

i'd gladly be the frame.

2008-04-29T21:52:01Z

i am on the verge of a nervous break down. i could really go for a cigarette today. shame.

bigcastles @ 2008-04-28T09:39:00

2008-04-28T16:40:28Z

three weeks since i've quit smoking. i am quite proud of myself. i've gained six pounds though.

i cut my hair yesterday. only so it stops growing out like a mullet, im still trying to grow it long.

we all will take more chances.

2008-04-28T04:47:31Z

today my veins are dark green. my fingers trace them across my wrists

i'll miss you when you're gone, so just get out.

2008-04-27T05:41:58Z

this is neither healthy, nor productive. i'm going to pull my feet up to my chest and cry until you say something to me.

i was fooled. my heart aches. surprise.

a strangled smile fell from your face.

2008-04-25T03:04:41Z

i want to curl my body tightly into the space your lips make when they're lightly pressed together.